The Rude T-Shirt Company was started by an adult man with a childish mind.
I'm Al Elliott, and my team and I spend all day sniggering at rude jokes and designing ridiculously offensive t-shirts.
To give you an idea of how puerile we are, we're the kind of knobheads you'd see giggling whilst drawing 'cock-and-ball' outlines in the dust on parked cars.
(We call them 'bus stop cocks' because we used to draw them on misted-up bus shelters when we were kids...)
In fact, have you ever seen herb jars in Tesco rearranged to spell 'boobs'? That'll be our work too.
So if you have friends who are complete cock-wombles (and need a T-Shirt to remind them), or you're the kind of person who sniggers at large courgettes in Aldi (whilst your other-half tuts and walks away) please be assured that you're amongst friends here.
Now go choose a t-shirt, you cock-juggling, jizz-monger.
About Our Products
Our T-Shirts are pretty fucking good, if we say so ourselves - none of this 'iron on transfer' shite.
Nope, each shirt is 100% cotton, and the design is professionally printed by highly trained, highly professional professionals, who know exactly what they're doing (in the professional sense).
Because we only use the best printers we can find, the finish is soft, yet durable, meaning you'll feel fresh and comfortable all day (and there's zero chance of your design fading, running or cracking when washed, like some of our cheap competitors).
What's more, we offer a 5 year guarantee with every T-Shirt.
If it doesn't look as good as it once did (and it's not because you've been rolling around in goat-shit all weekend like a fucking deviant), just send it back and we'll send you another, for free.
Here's 6 other things you may not know about us:
- Everything we sell has a 365 day no-quibble return policy. Buy anything you want today, and you'll have a full 12 months to return it for a full, no-quibble refund.
- We only use the best. We use cutting-edge Direct to Garment printing, on high-quality cotton t-shirts. (None of this 'ironed-on' shite here)
- All our products are organised into 'Collections' (like 'Gym' or 'Baking' or 'General insults'). You can see all our collections here.
- Get free shipping for life. Join our free Rudology Club and get free, unlimited delivery on every order you make for life.
- Every t-shirt has a 5 year guarantee. Yup, 5 years. If our t-shirt fails at any point in the 1,826 days following your purchase, tell us, and we'll send you a replacement, free of charge.
- We donate to Once Upon a Smile charity. For every t-shirt you buy, we donate £1 to the UK charity that helps bring smiles back to children who've lost parents.
We're Social Responsible...
Check us out with our 'fair trade' shit.
Our t-shirts are 100% ethically-sourced, organic cotton, meaning no kids, animals, or ozone layers are hurt during the making of your clothes.
As part of the Fair Wear Foundation, our manufacturers promise to treat workers fairly, and pay them well (no child/forced labour or 200 hour work-week rubbish here.)
If that wasn't enough, we are 'climate neutral', meaning our garments are made using renewable green energy from wind & solar power.
So you can suck our furry wands, Primark - we're so much better than you.
Got a question? Had an idea? Bored at work?
Send us a message via Facebook (Facebook.com/RudeTshirtCo) or send an email to upyours@RudeTshirtCompany.co.uk.
Now leave us the fuck alone - we've got T-shirts to sell.