"#WinelistWanker" "Oh God. Melvin has got the wine list again..." Here's how it starts. You're out with friends having a bite to eat. Nothing fancy, just your standard steak & chips. You've ordered your food, and as you're finishing off your Peroni, your 'sophisticated' friend asks for the wine list. "I believe tha...Read more
"Oh God. Melvin has got the wine list again..."
Here's how it starts.
You're out with friends having a bite to eat. Nothing fancy, just your standard steak & chips. You've ordered your food, and as you're finishing off your Peroni, your 'sophisticated' friend asks for the wine list.
"I believe that an Australian Cabernet Sauvignon would match our orders the best. It'll go nicely with Alice's lamb, and it'll bring out the smokeyness of your steak."
"Oh wait - it might be a little rich for Sam's fish. Hmmm... Anyone have any objections to an Argentinian Malbec..?"
Nobody cares, Melvin. Nobody cares.
We just want a nice wine, that won't give us a headache, but will help us get through another of your turd-inducingly boring stories about your island-hopping adventures in Greece, or how you feel the local Waitrose has gone downhill since they stopped stocking Rooibos Tea leaves.
"Fuck your Malbec, Mel. Just do what everyone else does, and order the second cheapest on the list."
"Oh, and if you bring up your pissing allotment one more time tonight, I'm gonna go down there tonight, and take a shit in your composter."
About our T-shirts
They're perfect for any occasion*
Perfect for nights out, gym sessions, a quick trip to the shops or just for house-lounging - you could even wear it in bed, if that's your thing.
Our t-shirts are digitally printed, meaning they're super soft (none of this ironed-on crap), comfortable to wear and easy to wash (best keep it at 40°C though).
*Actually, thinking about it, they're probably not that suitable for job interviews or funerals, unless they're pretty laid-back affairs...
Which is the right style for you?
All our t-shirts come in 7 different designs, each with a choice of colours and sizes, so finding the right T-shirt is a doddle.
Scroll down for the other t-shirt styles available. You can select the perfect colour & size before you buy.
(Want a bespoke size or colour? Use the yellow button at the bottom left of the screen to get in touch).
We're Social Responsible...
Check us out with our 'fair trade' shit.
Our t-shirts are 100% ethically-sourced, organic cotton, meaning no kids, animals, or ozone layers are hurt during the making of your clothes.
As part of the Fair Wear Foundation, our manufacturers promise to treat workers fairly, and pay them well (no child/forced labour or 200 hour work-week rubbish here.)
If that wasn't enough, we are 'climate neutral', meaning our garments are made using renewable green energy from wind & solar power.
So you can suck our furry wands, Primark - we're so much better than you.
Shipping & Returns
We despatch all our orders using Speedy Delivery, meaning you should get your order within a day or so.
If you're in a hurry to impress your friends with your new purchase, you can upgrade to Courier delivery.
See that green padlock in the address bar? No, up a bit. To the left of the website address.
That's the one.
That means that your card details are as safe as houses. We use the most up-to-date secure card processing systems to ensure your details never fall into the wrong hands.
You can even use PayPal to check out if you prefer.
5 YEAR GUARANTEE (YUP 5 YEARS!)
We take pride in supplying the very best t-shirts we can source, and we're so confident in our quality, every t-shirt comes with a 5 year quality guarantee.
If, at any point in the next 5 years you're unhappy with the quality, just return it to us, and we'll send you a replacement, free of charge.
Note: this guarantee does not apply if:
- The shirt was ripped whilst wrestling with tigers/bears/crocodiles or any other sharp-toothed mammals or reptiles (unless you supply video footage of the damage taking place, in which case you'll get a new shirt and a lifetime of respect)
- The shirt has been damaged whilst juggling open cartons of industrial-strength acid (watch those pretty eyes of yours...)
- The shirt is faded, ripped, or half-eaten as a result of being stranded on a remote South Pacific island ("Wiiilllsonnnnnnnnnnn!!!!")
- You've washed it every, single, bastard day for 5 years (if this is the case, 'Mister Obsessive', then you've got bigger problems than a worn-out t-shirt. Go see someone.)
GOT A QUESTION?
Click the yellow button at the bottom left of your screen to get in touch.